What IHave Lived For
Threepassions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longingfor love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering ofmankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, ina wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge ofdespair.
Ihave sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that Iwould often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. Ihave sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness – that terrible lonelinessin which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the coldunfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union oflove I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven thatsaints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seemtoo good for human life, this is what – at last – I have found.
Withequal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the heartsof men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried toapprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. Alittle of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Loveand knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. Butalways pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in myheart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old peoplea hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, andpain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil,but I cannot, and I too suffer.
Thishas been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it againif the chance were offered me.
参考译文：
我为何而活
对爱情的渴望，对知识的追求，对人类痛苦之令人痛苦不堪的同情，这三种激情虽然质朴，却无比强烈，一直主宰着我的人生。这些激情宛若巨风，吹着我四处漂泊，狂狷不羁，越过芒芒苦海，直抵绝望的边缘。
我寻求爱情，首先是因为爱情令人心醉神迷 —— 那种心醉神迷的感觉是如此强烈，我时常会为了几个小时的愉悦而宁愿舍弃人生所有其他东西。我寻求爱情，其次是因为爱情可以消除孤独—— 身处那种可怕的孤独之中，探过尘世的边缘俯瞰那冰冷死寂的深渊，不免心惊胆战。我寻求爱情，最后是因为爱在两情相悦时，我看到了圣贤、诗人们想象中预见的天堂美景—— 那是一种神奇的缩影。这正是我所寻求的，尽管它对于人生而言似乎太过美好，但我已经找到了 —— 终于找到了。
我以同样的激情追求知识，渴望了解人类的心灵，渴望知道繁星为何闪烁，竭力去理解毕达哥拉斯哲学思想的威力，它使数字得以主宰万物轮回。我已经获得了些许知识，但是不多。
爱情和知识尽其所能把我引上天堂，而同情却总是把我带回尘世。痛苦的呼喊在我心中回荡，饥饿的儿童，遭压迫者蹂躏的人们，被子女视为累赘的无依无靠的老人，还有充斥着整个世界的孤独、贫穷和疾苦，都是对人类原本应有的生活之嘲讽。我渴望减轻这痛苦，可我无能为力，这令我也很痛苦。
这就是我的人生。我觉得值得为其而活，倘若还有机会，我乐于再活一次。
（实习编辑：许美）